Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Face of Fear

As BA487 knifed through the Catalan sky for an emergency landing in Barcelona, I saw the face of absolute fear. In the midst of hysterical wailing and rabid anger, she sat across the aisle from me. She didn't look terrified, she wasn't fervent in prayer, she just sat back in shell-shocked resignation.
We all survived BA 487 with not much lost than good humour. As we waited to be evacuated post touchdown, I looked across the aisle at her. In the midst of hysterical laughter and conspiracy theories, she sat there in absolute acceptance.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

My Name is Anil

Mr Johar, my name is Anil and I want my £10.50 and three hours of my life back.

And Mr.Johar, his name is Advait and he wants his money back too. He is clearly in deep post-Khan-Johar trauma.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Ban them Safricans

Dear Balasaheb,

Please to ban the South African cricket team from India. Especially, that Dale Steyn fellow. Who does he think he is, bowling so fast to Wriddhiman Saha? Unlike the noble Bangladeshi bowlers he has no respect for our national heroes and what's more he doesn't speak Marathi.

Just like you banned Pakistan and Australia, please to ban South Africa and England and West Indies also. Please to ban any bowler who can bowl faster than Madan Lal from visiting this country and scaring our great batsmen.

I suggest that only Mongolia and Cambodia be allowed to play against our World Number 1 team.

Jai Shivaji! Jai Sahaji!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Sherlock, stock and two smoking barrels

Guy Ritchie takes Conan Doyle's gumshoe by the neck and scruffs him up a bit. If you have grown up watching Jeremy Brett's Brylcreemed turn in the BBC series, Ritchie's dark art can startle you. It's an unwashed, cage-fighting Holmes, all sharp tongued and bare knuckled. The brain still ticks like a metrnonome but there is an unmistakable edginess to Ritchie's Holmes. And England never looks a more dangerous shade of grey than in a Guy Ritchie frame. Go watch Sherlock Holmes and listen carefully ... you can hear Sir Arthur Conan Doyle roll below the floorboards.

PS: Robert Downey Jr. was born to play rogue. Can't wait for Downey as Moses in Ritchie's Ten Commandments.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Time in a bottle

Time, locked in a bottle, wrapped in brown twine. Fragile, don't shake.