It's about time

Time seems to be stuck in peak hour traffic today. I want to go out there and do something. Find an oil well in my backyard, find a cure for congenital stupidity or mirrors that make fat people look fatter.
I could set up a call center for God but he is just a thought I think, like Kaiser Soze. The smartest thing he did was to make you believe he exists.
But that's not the point. The point is I need to do something useful today. Do aliens like Coca Cola I wonder. I must find out.