Any which way you lose

I watched Appaloosa, that's its real name no kidding, and I wept. Generous critics call it old fashioned, methinks it's a turd fossil. Appaloosa is a Western without Clint Eastwood, about nomadic gunslingers hired to clean up a cow town. Been there, seen that.
It has Viggo Mortensen which is about its only saving grace. But Ed Harris is director and top gun -- he gives himself the cheesiest lines and the girl. The girl being Rene Zellweger, a loose mattress-back, the kind Pramod Muthalik loves. Never been fascinated by Renee who somehow thinks being crinky-eyed puppy-fatish clown is cute for a thirty-something.
To cut a long Western short, Harris is no Eastwood and Appaloosa is no Unforgiven.